Don't know why you're so far away!!!

Its so much easier to relate to life, compare it with emotional turmoil, throw in a spoonful of hope or desire and you've got yourself a concoction, wild at the least, of spirited reality, exercising a strange sense of what was once the memory of love.

Then one day it surfaces, goes back into hiding and then re-surfaces like a passion driven emotion. But then again that is what Love is. Then whats with this bloody 'forbidden love'. Marraiges are made in heaven until someone finds love outside, relationships are full of ups and downs but then again so is life, so whats special apart from the prospect of holding onto companionship? Well its just that!!!

So what would you do if you meet 'the one'? Well you should definately hold onto that person and hope that you get a positive response, right? So what if you still find that you have a response, its positive, and unfortunately nothing to build on because she's in a committed relationship? Well if ur not the hyper-go-getter types you cannot hound the person to get after you - all you can do is stand back, respect the fact that you have a friend, Thank God that you have not lost hope in life, think about the possibility of geting a u-turn on that impossibility & put in a heartfelt number on having everything a finger's length away yet nover gonna get within your grasp.

This is Daniel Bedingfield's - If you're not the One...............

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings

But I know you are here with me now

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away

But I know that this **much** is true

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right

And though I can't be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Sayo

In memory of a friend I lost a few years ago.

Today Sayo, we'd be drinking in celebration. Happy Birthday!!
Holding a candle in my window - all for you!!

Put a candle in the window, but I feel I've got to move.

Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,

'Long as I can see the light.

Pack my bag and let's get movin', 'cause I'm bound to drift a while.

Well I'm gone, gone, you don't have to worry no,

'Long as I can see the light.

Guess I've got that old trav'lin' bone, 'cause this feelin' won't leave me alone.

But I won't, won't be losin' my way, no, no

'Long as I can see the light.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, Yeah!

Put a candle in the window, 'cause I feel I've got to move.

Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,

Long as I can see the light.

Long as I can see the light.

Long as I can see the light.

Long as I can see the light.

Appriciation

Every time I get an opportunity to sit down and write on this blog I'm motivated to do so only because of a feverish emotion running through me. An emotion? well yes! An emotion. An emotion is, in my books, the only inkling in anyones body that can ensure that you are driven to get to vent out, express, challenge, discover, yearn and basically hope that you would act on that. Emotions arisen out of the blue? Well, not really. Emotions take you on a ride all through the various anecdotes of life - irrespective of the fact that they help you react in a positive and/or negative way but then again, a reaction can be termed to be positive or negative only by the perception that one is able to derive from the reaction, but, lets not take a trip down that road and get back to the motivation that we call emotion. I derive my emotional motivation by any significant moment in my life or a strong sense of hope or disaster that I can feel from a strong lyricized song at a desperate moment. Desperate!! well every one of us are desperate at every moment in life. Examples you say? well here are some:
- Does she like me?
- Man! The moon is full tonight?
- I love you!
- Ouch! my heart.
- Hmmm that was cute.
Not desperation you say? Well these are all just examples where every one of us are searching for an answer, a solution to contemplation, pain, love, joy, satisfaction - all modes of desperation to feel.
Apart form desperation and hope you have that unending roller coaster called 'LOVE'. ouch what a blinding effect it can have on people I must say right? Well it does. Love make you feel complete. It make you feel wanted, special, hopeful, gives you the motivation to feel for someone else more that you you could aspire to do yourself, and if you don't feel this well - then you're not in love!! Ever suddenly stop In your tracks when you hear a wonderful song that fits into that relationship you are / were on? Ever go shopping for a pair of pants by yourself and return with tons of things for the one you love simply because you have to, just have to see the smile on his/her face when you give them the things you picked up? Ever see a message or hear uttered to you those infamous 3 words by the one you love when, in the middle of a chaotic moment leaving you feeling lost in the passion of life, love and suddenly you cannot help but smile? A moment lost, is a moment lost forever and therefore you'd give up that drive in a cushy air-conditioned car only to walk through hail storming rain or sweltering heat just to hold hands and be with someone who'll make you skip a beat of your heart.
There are millions of people out there who today - feel love. They feel the love just like you and me, deep down in their heart. They love the fact that they cannot express this feeling in words and can only feel the ache of wanting to be with someone. And yes it does feel out-of-this-world amazing. Then there are those who have not felt love but can romanticize the feeling of love and can definitely want to reach out for that romantic event and hold on with dear life until the end of time. And finally, there are those who have loved, with every ounce of their heart & soul but, lost it. This last bunch of losers, not to put things harshly, are the ones who are on an absolute roller-coaster of life. It hurts, believe you me, it really does hurt when relationships break up. Its one thing to feel it first hand but, another to see someone else go through a breakup and all you can do is ask them to hold on and hope that things come together and no-one wakes up one day and says they want to leave, its a simple cumilative effect of deteriorating love. Commitment is all that is there and commitment is all that one can hope hold the relationship together where the glue can only be love.
Without Love, you have no hope, no meaning to a relationship, no heart to hold onto, no meaning to the existence of an emotional motivation to hold on to each other. Without love you and I have no meaning to life, no meaning to hope, no meaning to want, no meaning to feel - feel passion. You want to say the words - you're like a dream to me, you're the only one for me, you're all my heart can ache for, and the killer cliche - You complete me!!
But that apart - riding through a broken heart is a terrible disaster for a guy. Most guys feel the pain but cannot explain how a strong masculine exo-structure can hold a weeping little boy who didn't get picked to play in the game - so they bottle things inside them, pick up a beautiful bottle of the cheapest yet choicest alcohol & a pack of cigarettes and try to drive that feeling away. Can feeling numb take away the pain of a woman leaving you? Well for sometime Yes, it does work but, for the long haul not really!! The pain comes back and joins the huge bulge which helped grow on you through the pity liquor, cigarettes and that crappy grub you've been dishing in. The faster you wake up the better.
If you've been with someone who's woken up and walked out on what you thought was a strong relationship and confusion has just set in? Stand back! Stop asking why! Hold out on Hope and remember you've lost a woman you didn't appreciate enough before she left else she'd be by your side. Remorse? Hmmm a bit late in the game? well not really you have hope - there is tomorrow and then again you can sing through love lost. just like this great song I have here. Its a classy 'one-hit wonder' from an all-male, all-black group called '4:PM'. The song is called 'Sukiyaki' and will make you feel, every which way, through every single lyric. Take a read, better still run over to youtube or singingfool and take a listen - heaven in melody.

It's all because of you, I'm feeling sad and blue

You went away, now my life is just a rainy day

And I love you so, how much you'll never know

You've gone away and left me lonely

Untouchable memories, seem to keep haunting me

Another love so true

That once turned all my gray skies blue

But you disappeared

Now my eyes are filled with tears

And I'm wishing you were here with me

Soft with love are my thoughts of you

Now that you're gone

I just don't know what to do

(Chorus)

If only you were here

You'd wash away my tears

The sun would shine once again

You'd be mine all mine

But in reality, you and I will never be

'Cause you took your love away from me

Girl, I don't know what I did

To make you leave me

But what I do know

Is that since you've been gone

There's such an emptiness inside

I'm wishing you'd come back to me

(repeat Chorus)

Oh, baby, you took your love away from me!!

Do you really want to remember?

Man!! time really flies all the while doesn't it? The day I sat down to write my last Blog was 4 months ago, what happened to my quest to narrate the life and times of good old Pothan woeful writer? well it seems that I really don't have much in terms of an experienced life (or at least that's what I think). So this time I've got a quick bite of a different type of treat. Many times lyrics, tunes and of course melody enamours me towards a number that I cannot get outta my mind for a very long time. In this case its Paula DeAnda's - Walk Away!!

If u've ever broken a relationship? If your answer is yes, then you'd probable understand the excrutinating pain you'd go through the month after the BIG breakup. Although it would only last that long, for the rest of your life you'd be thrilled you got away from that parasitic man/woman and got away with all your limbs in tact. but if you could even think of that 1 dividing month, this songs fits perfectly. You'd stand thinking 24/7 of all the things you'd do with him/her, think of the pain when you broke up, possibly catch him with another woman and imagine that she is a pinnacle of perfection and he's moved on forever. Never will he turn back to take another look, even think to consider, think in comparison of all the things you'll used to do together and imagine him taking those little, what you though was precious, things away from you and spending his time with her instead. Its all of nothing and then again its everything - people never remember the BIG events in their life but always think of the time you took that walk cracking Pj's, the time you'll just sat holding hands, the phone calls for 8 hours dusk to dawn, that hug, that kiss, the purity in it all.

Whats is life without passion? Many people hold onto things they think they no longer find themselves attracted to but, its that moment when they are about to leave when the are reminded of ever single bit of extacy all though every moment. Its like when you see people almost die on TV and they would say they saw their entire life flash in front of them... its exactly that except that its the greatest gift God gave you, 'cos now you know the meaning of leaving the one you love, you'll never be content, never want to leave, never want no more than eternity with the person you love.

Will you be able to hold on to the events and spl moments that you spent in that relationship? Will you move on? Will you be able to ever "Walk Away"?

I'm gonna remember you

You're gonna remember me

I'm gonna remember you

You're gonna remember me

You gonna remember me boo

I'm gonna remember you too

I can't forget all the crazy shhh..

we used to do

You was doing to much

I wasn't doing enough

That's what your friends are saying

You got a man anyway

I can't explain it neither

I ain't never wanna leave ya

Hell ya its hard to walk away when I see ya

When I see ya I remember the day

You put your shoes on and moved on

Before I could say
I saw you with your new girl just yesterday

And I feel that I must confess

Even though it kills me to have to say

I'll admit that I was impressed

Physically just short of perfection

Gotta commend you on your selection

Though I know I shouldn't be concerned

In the back of my mind I can't help but question

Does she rub your feet

When you've had a long day

Scratch your scalp

When you take out your braids

Does she know that you like too Play PS2

till 6 in the morning Like I do

I can't explain this feeling

I think about it everyday

And even though we've moved on

It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be

Our life from day to day

Hoping maybe you'll come back

And though I tell myself not to be afraid

To move on but it seems I can't

Though a new man has given me attention

It ain't the same as your affection

Though I know I should be content

In the back of my mind

I can't help but question

Does he kiss me on the forehead

Before we play

Show up on my doorstep (with a bouquet)

Does he call me in the middle of the day

Just to say hey baby I love you

Like you used to

I can't explain this feeling

I think about it everyday

And even though we've moved on

It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

I'm Gonna Remember You

Your Gonna Remember Me

The things we did

The way we shared our fantasies Just you and me

My friend, my love, my family

How did we loose a love that seemed meant to be

Sometimes I kiss her and wish that it was you

I'm kissing Sometimes I miss him and wish that it was you

I'm missing Sometimes I hug her and wish that it was you

I was hugging And I realize how much I'm bugging

I miss you

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm Gonna Remember You Your Gonna Remember Me)

So hard to express this feeling

Cause nobody compares to you

And you know she'll never love you like I do

I can't explain this feeling

I think about it everyday

And even though we've moved on

It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away