I spent time dwelling on the past and then worked up the courage to move on. Heft in order, pride shattered, that sense to emote left scared, working through that tussle of regret and anger & left staring at a closed door to the future. If only it was another man I'd feel redeemed with proven inability. Unfortunately all that there is to hold on is the hope in regret. Pathetic as this sounds remnants of a past that didn't walk away, didn't hide away but, still lingers.
It still lingers like the crackle of a soft tone when in pain, the connection through bouts of concern, twisting strands behind that gorgeous milky-white toned ear, the soft grip of interlocking fingers, that shoulder brush in turning away, the feel of that cheek rubbing against a rugged palm, the sweet smell of a naked body on clean sheets and of course a passion aroused with every split-second kiss that keeps the daze alive long enough to forget any other feeling through a human body.
If only I'd realise what kind of a person I am - not in conjunction with that higher being - I'd shy away and hide from the fact that growing into a better person was not because I put any effort into it but solely dependant on being built to what I am today, hopefully, what I will be tomorrow!!
Joshua Radin from the 'Scrubs' fame put out a gorgeous number called 'Winter'. Gives you that warm feeling of that person you lost giving hope only in the lingering feelings of yesteryear. Do not just read through the lyrics but hit you-tube / hit the closest music store and pick this one up - its worth a listen.
I should know who I am by now
I walk the record stands somehow
Thinking of winter
Your name is the splinter inside me
While I wait
And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don't have to make this mistake
And I don't have to stay this way
If only I would wait ('wake?)
The walk has all been cleared by now
Your voice is all I hear somehow
Calling out winter
Your voice is the splinter inside me
While I wait
And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don't have to make this mistake
And I don't have to stay this way
If only I would wait ('wake?)
I could have lost myself in rough blue waters in your eyes
And I miss you still
I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don't have to make this mistake
And I don't have to stay this way
If only I would wait ('wake?)
