Reminiscence

And then there are those moments in life when that moment recreates itself in a sense of possibility. The life that was, the life that would've been, the hope that left you behind........
I spent time dwelling on the past and then worked up the courage to move on. Heft in order, pride shattered, that sense to emote left scared, working through that tussle of regret and anger & left staring at a closed door to the future. If only it was another man I'd feel redeemed with proven inability. Unfortunately all that there is to hold on is the hope in regret. Pathetic as this sounds remnants of a past that didn't walk away, didn't hide away but, still lingers.
It still lingers like the crackle of a soft tone when in pain, the connection through bouts of concern, twisting strands behind that gorgeous milky-white toned ear, the soft grip of interlocking fingers, that shoulder brush in turning away, the feel of that cheek rubbing against a rugged palm, the sweet smell of a naked body on clean sheets and of course a passion aroused with every split-second kiss that keeps the daze alive long enough to forget any other feeling through a human body.
If only I'd realise what kind of a person I am - not in conjunction with that higher being - I'd shy away and hide from the fact that growing into a better person was not because I put any effort into it but solely dependant on being built to what I am today, hopefully, what I will be tomorrow!!
Joshua Radin from the 'Scrubs' fame put out a gorgeous number called 'Winter'. Gives you that warm feeling of that person you lost giving hope only in the lingering feelings of yesteryear. Do not just read through the lyrics but hit you-tube / hit the closest music store and pick this one up - its worth a listen.

I should know who I am by now

I walk the record stands somehow

Thinking of winter

Your name is the splinter inside me

While I wait

And I remember the sound

Of your November downtown

And I remember the truth

A warm December with you

But I don't have to make this mistake

And I don't have to stay this way

If only I would wait ('wake?)

The walk has all been cleared by now

Your voice is all I hear somehow

Calling out winter

Your voice is the splinter inside me

While I wait

And I remember the sound

Of your November downtown

And I remember the truth

A warm December with you

But I don't have to make this mistake

And I don't have to stay this way

If only I would wait ('wake?)

I could have lost myself in rough blue waters in your eyes

And I miss you still

I remember the sound

Of your November downtown

And I remember the truth

A warm December with you

But I don't have to make this mistake

And I don't have to stay this way

If only I would wait ('wake?)

Going back to the start

This piece was in Draft for about 2 years and for some moment of perfection that is today, I happened to be reading through some of my Blog's and stumbled across this one just when the very song that I was writing for began to play on the Radio. Coincidences apart, it seems a worthy moment for me to finish and publish this song.

Many times in our lives we spend all our days searching for a meaning. A meaning for something special, something special that sets you apart, something to give you purpose to your life, to your existence on earth and at times just simply - seeking a profound meaning of life's little treasures that are short-lived in reality but remain perennial in your mind keeping you plugged into a constant exploration questioning what if, how, why and why not.....dwelling in what can only be measured as a fraction of a second in reality but a life long journey in your mind - its called a moment. Sometimes meaning can give you angst, hunger for hope and and deprive you of a treasure that is clouded in you just yearning to learn of its meaning.
Meaning, meaning, meaning - the meaning of life, the meaning of love, whats would we do if we didn't step towards that search for the everlasting stairway yearning for the meaning for everything? If you were to fall in love - a supposition that will already take you back to the memory of that past love that you gave up on or passed you by and you wonder and wonder - What if? Then on reflection provide yourself with a choice to dwell on what could have been or decide with the easiest of lies that you have reprogrammed yourself to believe that it was never meant to be and with that wipe that phase away for the moment like swiftly administered amnesia thinking that life must move on.
If only I could go back, If only she actually believed in me, if only I could change myself just a little bit - its such a shame that we had to part. Wish I could be there to look at myself when it all began - right at the start and I'll bet you'll have a smile on your face.

The band Coldplay most times, get emotions, bang-on-spot and leave no stone unturned when it comes to giving you the hope of facing the future of life's little adventures in anticipation of avoiding any (supposed) misery and hoping for a change. Well here is a song pleading for a bit of hope. The Scientist by Coldplay.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you, tell you I need you,

Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,

Oh lets go back to the start.

Running in circles,

Comin' up TailsHeads on a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy,It's such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard.

Oh take me back to the start.

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,

Pulling your puzzles apart.

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart.

And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start.

Runnin' in circles, Chasin' up TailsComin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy,Oh it's such a shame for us to part.

Nobody said it was easy,No one ever said it would be so hard.

I'm goin' back to the start.

Don't know why you're so far away!!!

Its so much easier to relate to life, compare it with emotional turmoil, throw in a spoonful of hope or desire and you've got yourself a concoction, wild at the least, of spirited reality, exercising a strange sense of what was once the memory of love.

Then one day it surfaces, goes back into hiding and then re-surfaces like a passion driven emotion. But then again that is what Love is. Then whats with this bloody 'forbidden love'. Marraiges are made in heaven until someone finds love outside, relationships are full of ups and downs but then again so is life, so whats special apart from the prospect of holding onto companionship? Well its just that!!!

So what would you do if you meet 'the one'? Well you should definately hold onto that person and hope that you get a positive response, right? So what if you still find that you have a response, its positive, and unfortunately nothing to build on because she's in a committed relationship? Well if ur not the hyper-go-getter types you cannot hound the person to get after you - all you can do is stand back, respect the fact that you have a friend, Thank God that you have not lost hope in life, think about the possibility of geting a u-turn on that impossibility & put in a heartfelt number on having everything a finger's length away yet nover gonna get within your grasp.

This is Daniel Bedingfield's - If you're not the One...............

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?

If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?

If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?

If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings

But I know you are here with me now

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?

If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?

If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?

If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away

But I know that this **much** is true

We'll make it through

And I hope you are the one I share my life with

And I wish that you could be the one I die with

And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with

I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away

And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today

'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right

And though I can't be with you tonight

You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand

If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am

Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Sayo

In memory of a friend I lost a few years ago.

Today Sayo, we'd be drinking in celebration. Happy Birthday!!
Holding a candle in my window - all for you!!

Put a candle in the window, but I feel I've got to move.

Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,

'Long as I can see the light.

Pack my bag and let's get movin', 'cause I'm bound to drift a while.

Well I'm gone, gone, you don't have to worry no,

'Long as I can see the light.

Guess I've got that old trav'lin' bone, 'cause this feelin' won't leave me alone.

But I won't, won't be losin' my way, no, no

'Long as I can see the light.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh, Yeah!

Put a candle in the window, 'cause I feel I've got to move.

Though I'm going, going, I'll be coming home soon,

Long as I can see the light.

Long as I can see the light.

Long as I can see the light.

Long as I can see the light.

Appriciation

Every time I get an opportunity to sit down and write on this blog I'm motivated to do so only because of a feverish emotion running through me. An emotion? well yes! An emotion. An emotion is, in my books, the only inkling in anyones body that can ensure that you are driven to get to vent out, express, challenge, discover, yearn and basically hope that you would act on that. Emotions arisen out of the blue? Well, not really. Emotions take you on a ride all through the various anecdotes of life - irrespective of the fact that they help you react in a positive and/or negative way but then again, a reaction can be termed to be positive or negative only by the perception that one is able to derive from the reaction, but, lets not take a trip down that road and get back to the motivation that we call emotion. I derive my emotional motivation by any significant moment in my life or a strong sense of hope or disaster that I can feel from a strong lyricized song at a desperate moment. Desperate!! well every one of us are desperate at every moment in life. Examples you say? well here are some:
- Does she like me?
- Man! The moon is full tonight?
- I love you!
- Ouch! my heart.
- Hmmm that was cute.
Not desperation you say? Well these are all just examples where every one of us are searching for an answer, a solution to contemplation, pain, love, joy, satisfaction - all modes of desperation to feel.
Apart form desperation and hope you have that unending roller coaster called 'LOVE'. ouch what a blinding effect it can have on people I must say right? Well it does. Love make you feel complete. It make you feel wanted, special, hopeful, gives you the motivation to feel for someone else more that you you could aspire to do yourself, and if you don't feel this well - then you're not in love!! Ever suddenly stop In your tracks when you hear a wonderful song that fits into that relationship you are / were on? Ever go shopping for a pair of pants by yourself and return with tons of things for the one you love simply because you have to, just have to see the smile on his/her face when you give them the things you picked up? Ever see a message or hear uttered to you those infamous 3 words by the one you love when, in the middle of a chaotic moment leaving you feeling lost in the passion of life, love and suddenly you cannot help but smile? A moment lost, is a moment lost forever and therefore you'd give up that drive in a cushy air-conditioned car only to walk through hail storming rain or sweltering heat just to hold hands and be with someone who'll make you skip a beat of your heart.
There are millions of people out there who today - feel love. They feel the love just like you and me, deep down in their heart. They love the fact that they cannot express this feeling in words and can only feel the ache of wanting to be with someone. And yes it does feel out-of-this-world amazing. Then there are those who have not felt love but can romanticize the feeling of love and can definitely want to reach out for that romantic event and hold on with dear life until the end of time. And finally, there are those who have loved, with every ounce of their heart & soul but, lost it. This last bunch of losers, not to put things harshly, are the ones who are on an absolute roller-coaster of life. It hurts, believe you me, it really does hurt when relationships break up. Its one thing to feel it first hand but, another to see someone else go through a breakup and all you can do is ask them to hold on and hope that things come together and no-one wakes up one day and says they want to leave, its a simple cumilative effect of deteriorating love. Commitment is all that is there and commitment is all that one can hope hold the relationship together where the glue can only be love.
Without Love, you have no hope, no meaning to a relationship, no heart to hold onto, no meaning to the existence of an emotional motivation to hold on to each other. Without love you and I have no meaning to life, no meaning to hope, no meaning to want, no meaning to feel - feel passion. You want to say the words - you're like a dream to me, you're the only one for me, you're all my heart can ache for, and the killer cliche - You complete me!!
But that apart - riding through a broken heart is a terrible disaster for a guy. Most guys feel the pain but cannot explain how a strong masculine exo-structure can hold a weeping little boy who didn't get picked to play in the game - so they bottle things inside them, pick up a beautiful bottle of the cheapest yet choicest alcohol & a pack of cigarettes and try to drive that feeling away. Can feeling numb take away the pain of a woman leaving you? Well for sometime Yes, it does work but, for the long haul not really!! The pain comes back and joins the huge bulge which helped grow on you through the pity liquor, cigarettes and that crappy grub you've been dishing in. The faster you wake up the better.
If you've been with someone who's woken up and walked out on what you thought was a strong relationship and confusion has just set in? Stand back! Stop asking why! Hold out on Hope and remember you've lost a woman you didn't appreciate enough before she left else she'd be by your side. Remorse? Hmmm a bit late in the game? well not really you have hope - there is tomorrow and then again you can sing through love lost. just like this great song I have here. Its a classy 'one-hit wonder' from an all-male, all-black group called '4:PM'. The song is called 'Sukiyaki' and will make you feel, every which way, through every single lyric. Take a read, better still run over to youtube or singingfool and take a listen - heaven in melody.

It's all because of you, I'm feeling sad and blue

You went away, now my life is just a rainy day

And I love you so, how much you'll never know

You've gone away and left me lonely

Untouchable memories, seem to keep haunting me

Another love so true

That once turned all my gray skies blue

But you disappeared

Now my eyes are filled with tears

And I'm wishing you were here with me

Soft with love are my thoughts of you

Now that you're gone

I just don't know what to do

(Chorus)

If only you were here

You'd wash away my tears

The sun would shine once again

You'd be mine all mine

But in reality, you and I will never be

'Cause you took your love away from me

Girl, I don't know what I did

To make you leave me

But what I do know

Is that since you've been gone

There's such an emptiness inside

I'm wishing you'd come back to me

(repeat Chorus)

Oh, baby, you took your love away from me!!

Do you really want to remember?

Man!! time really flies all the while doesn't it? The day I sat down to write my last Blog was 4 months ago, what happened to my quest to narrate the life and times of good old Pothan woeful writer? well it seems that I really don't have much in terms of an experienced life (or at least that's what I think). So this time I've got a quick bite of a different type of treat. Many times lyrics, tunes and of course melody enamours me towards a number that I cannot get outta my mind for a very long time. In this case its Paula DeAnda's - Walk Away!!

If u've ever broken a relationship? If your answer is yes, then you'd probable understand the excrutinating pain you'd go through the month after the BIG breakup. Although it would only last that long, for the rest of your life you'd be thrilled you got away from that parasitic man/woman and got away with all your limbs in tact. but if you could even think of that 1 dividing month, this songs fits perfectly. You'd stand thinking 24/7 of all the things you'd do with him/her, think of the pain when you broke up, possibly catch him with another woman and imagine that she is a pinnacle of perfection and he's moved on forever. Never will he turn back to take another look, even think to consider, think in comparison of all the things you'll used to do together and imagine him taking those little, what you though was precious, things away from you and spending his time with her instead. Its all of nothing and then again its everything - people never remember the BIG events in their life but always think of the time you took that walk cracking Pj's, the time you'll just sat holding hands, the phone calls for 8 hours dusk to dawn, that hug, that kiss, the purity in it all.

Whats is life without passion? Many people hold onto things they think they no longer find themselves attracted to but, its that moment when they are about to leave when the are reminded of ever single bit of extacy all though every moment. Its like when you see people almost die on TV and they would say they saw their entire life flash in front of them... its exactly that except that its the greatest gift God gave you, 'cos now you know the meaning of leaving the one you love, you'll never be content, never want to leave, never want no more than eternity with the person you love.

Will you be able to hold on to the events and spl moments that you spent in that relationship? Will you move on? Will you be able to ever "Walk Away"?

I'm gonna remember you

You're gonna remember me

I'm gonna remember you

You're gonna remember me

You gonna remember me boo

I'm gonna remember you too

I can't forget all the crazy shhh..

we used to do

You was doing to much

I wasn't doing enough

That's what your friends are saying

You got a man anyway

I can't explain it neither

I ain't never wanna leave ya

Hell ya its hard to walk away when I see ya

When I see ya I remember the day

You put your shoes on and moved on

Before I could say
I saw you with your new girl just yesterday

And I feel that I must confess

Even though it kills me to have to say

I'll admit that I was impressed

Physically just short of perfection

Gotta commend you on your selection

Though I know I shouldn't be concerned

In the back of my mind I can't help but question

Does she rub your feet

When you've had a long day

Scratch your scalp

When you take out your braids

Does she know that you like too Play PS2

till 6 in the morning Like I do

I can't explain this feeling

I think about it everyday

And even though we've moved on

It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

I can't forget how we used to be

Our life from day to day

Hoping maybe you'll come back

And though I tell myself not to be afraid

To move on but it seems I can't

Though a new man has given me attention

It ain't the same as your affection

Though I know I should be content

In the back of my mind

I can't help but question

Does he kiss me on the forehead

Before we play

Show up on my doorstep (with a bouquet)

Does he call me in the middle of the day

Just to say hey baby I love you

Like you used to

I can't explain this feeling

I think about it everyday

And even though we've moved on

It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

I'm Gonna Remember You

Your Gonna Remember Me

The things we did

The way we shared our fantasies Just you and me

My friend, my love, my family

How did we loose a love that seemed meant to be

Sometimes I kiss her and wish that it was you

I'm kissing Sometimes I miss him and wish that it was you

I'm missing Sometimes I hug her and wish that it was you

I was hugging And I realize how much I'm bugging

I miss you

Walk Away, Walk Away

(I'm Gonna Remember You Your Gonna Remember Me)

So hard to express this feeling

Cause nobody compares to you

And you know she'll never love you like I do

I can't explain this feeling

I think about it everyday

And even though we've moved on

It gets so hard to walk away

(I'm gonna remember you You're gonna remember me)

Walk Away, Walk Away

The Sensitive Man

They say that this decade is the decade of the 'sensitive man' - in music that is. So what does that bring us to in terms of good music? Lets see we have Jack johnson, kinda down-to-earth, James Blunt, yea he's a real sensitive chap and there are so many others who are no longer only talking about falling in love or being in love but singing about the sensitivity of love itself & of course everything from the passion to the romaticism for losing and winning a woman.

Love a phenomenon on its own can be used for multiple emotions but always drives passion. And being a romantic in my own nature seek out love songs with lyrical genius. Here are a few Excerpts that I could pull up for some very new songs that I was impressed with earlier today.

1. Mario Vasquez - Gallery

My interpretation is that he pines for a woman who is with another man who, although rich is not her perfect companion.

She's so confused
She knows she deserves more
Someone who will love and adore
But his money's hard to ignore
She really doesn't know what to do
Girl it's just a matter of time
Before he finds another more fine
After he's done dulling your shine
You're out the door and he's through with you

Tell me is the money worth your soul
Tell me what's the reason that you hold on,
When you know that dude has a whole wall of 'em just like you
And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

I can't takeSeeing you with him
'Cuz I know exactly what you'll be
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery

You're a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know

It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
In his gallery

2. The Fray - How to save a life

This singer sings about a fight between his girl and him and how it all plays out except he's wondering what went wrong and what he was supposed to keep the girl with him.

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Two solid songs that pine for the 3 words that most people alive find too difficult or too simple to utter - but when you get it at the right time, at the right place, with the right person - the magic, my friend, begins....

La Mer

Music is indeed a fantastic gift. Have you ever seen a movie called "French Kiss". I've seen this love story which included in its cast an actress who starred in almost all the romantic-comedy movies in the 90's - Meg Ryan alongside the very talented Kevin Kline who, in this movie, is french. The movie has its usual up's & down's but since i'm no flim critic i'll hold my tounge. The only reason I mentioned this movie is because Kevin Kline sings , rather well - if I must say so, his version of the Charles Trenet song "La Mer". An' WHAT a blooming song is "LA MER". The lyrics simply tell you about the sea which means 'la mer' in french. Boy oh boy oh boy, the music can pick you up from any mood you are in, an just put the world of romance into your blood. The song will make you want to pick up your girlfriend/lover/wife and dance for those four odd romantic minutes.
Later when I googled "La mer" I found and listened to Bobby Darin's version in a song called "Beyond the Sea" which is just as sweet but not as romantic as the voice of a frenchman singing "La Mer". This song can brighten any dull or depressing moment in your life with no exceptions. Take my word of it :)
We ll as usual I have the lyrics of the song pulled together, and if you're french or know how to speak french here goes.

Charles Trenet Lyrics - La Mer

La mer

Qu'on voit danser le long des golfes clairs

A des reflets d'argent

La mer

Des reflets changeants

Sous la pluie

La mer

Au ciel d'ete confond

Ses blancs moutons

Avec les anges si purs

La mer bergere d'azurInfinie

Voyez

Pres des etangs

Ces grands roseaux mouilles

Voyez

Ces oiseaux blancs

Et ces maisons rouillees

La mer

Les a berces

Le long des golfes clairs

Et d'une chanson d'amour

La mer

A berce mon coeur pour la vie

Try and pick up this song if you have even one romantic - music loving bone in your body or atleast try out for the number sung by dear old Bobby Darin called beyond the sea. Unfortunately not as dramatic as the French original 'La mer' but nevertheless a great song. French love songs, the actual love songs are very satisfying. They can drive the passion in you. I thought i'd just add in the lyrics for 'beyond the sea' even though they are not all that fantastic. Giving Mr. Darin his due, here we go:

Bobby Darin - Beyond the Sea

Somewhere beyond the sea

Somewhere waiting for me

My lover stands on golden sands

And watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea

She's there watching for me

If I could fly like birds on a high

Then straight to her arms

I'd go sailing

It is far beyond the stars

It is near beyond the moon

But I know beyond a doubt

My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore

We'll kiss just as before

Happy we'll be beyond the sea

And never again I'll go sailing

And I know beyond a doubt

My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet (I know we'll meet) beyond the shore

We're gonna kiss just as before

And happy we'll be beyond the sea

And never again I'll go sailing

No more sailing

So long sailing...

Bye bye sailing...

Stick With You

So falling in love is difficult. I'd bet you'd agree with me. There are millions of women out there who are 'over the top' arrogant, have a weird sensibility about themselves, are a bit too picky, talkitive, nosy, irritating, needy, greedy, and a whole lot more. So what is it that you'd want with a woman for the rest of you're life.
Many times I've some across , movies, books & songs that explain in finesse the perfect relationship. When I say perfect relationship, I don't mean one which is hunky-dory, 24/7, all life-long, but one which allows a couple to be comfortable with each other upto the extent that they'd accept each other's flaws, imperfections, beliefs, dreams, hopes, desires and definitely bond to develop a unison that would help create progression in each other's lives feeding off an evergrowing energy which people like to call Love.
There has only been one woman in my life for over the past almost 4 years who has been a culmination of the points I've described earlier. She has been the pinnacle of my 'perfection' and has turned into someone whom I've begun to treasure more than my very own life. Now you might think that I'm putting out plain flattery but just imagine this. Friendship - growing to fondness - then into love. And of course you cannot fall in love and respect your partner if you do not share mutual admiration for each other. 'Babucha' is not only the most brilliant girl I have ever met but has a plethora of virtues that I know I can never match up to. She's kind, humble, simple, careful, loving, caring, thinks of me a million times a day, loves the concept of building a family, has brought me closer to god than I'd ever think I'd be, my doctor, my financial guide, my life plan designer, my decision-maker and most importantly my gift from God.
I could go on with the millions of experiences we've had together over the past few years - right from being close and intimate in our relationship we've had tons of fights, with topics ranging from 'not making a timely call' to 'buying a house' and the only thing I see is a spurt in the growth of our love for each other after every fight or celebration.
There has been many a time when I look back and see that I have been selfish in many ways through acts of pleasure and know that god has forgiven me for my misgivings and wrongful acts but, at the same time I've never questioned the fact that time passes us so fast that we hardly have time to spend with each other - the only hope in our near future is marriage - another culmination in our relationship which is destined to bring us together. Emotional as I am its those lousy songs that bring out my thoughts to perfection and the following words just hit home.

Nobody gonna love me better

I must stick with you Forever

Nobody gonna take me higher

I must stick with you

You know how to appreciate me

I must stick with you My baby

Nobody ever made me feel this way

I must stick with you

Verrrry true. There's that saying "you know what you're missing only when its gone". Well here is my chance to ensure that I never get to that point of mistake. I need to ensure that I know what I want and what I need and what I must hold on to - FOREVER. There is no option left but to hold on to what you KNOW will give you the greatest experience on earth before the Almighty call you up to a life in eternity.

I've read that God is love and all the wants from our existence is to Love each-other and HIM. We've already been given the Gift of life and Loving each step of the way through it is our only expectation. Babucha if I could dedicate a song to perpetuate my will today & forever this is one song that expresses me. Here is the complete song. Surprisingly its been sung by the 'Pussy cat Dolls' & is called 'Stickwitu'

Navin Pothan

Love?

'Love' - many cherish this word simply because it symbolises the emotion, an expression, a desperation to unite two souls in unison. Now, i'm not talking about the love between a mother & child, brother & sister or even the kind that platonic friends share. I'm talking about the gut-wrenching, heart-throbbing passion that two people share that bring out the true meaning of the word 'lovers'. Not using the word 'lovers' to describe a couple holding hands in a the privacy of a public park while 3 meters behind them random people urinate with glee on a wall. No. I'm speaking of the love that makes emotions take control of your body, the love that grips your mind and tangles your organs until you cannot bear but be by the side of the person who you feel so passionately for. Ever thought of a woman in such desparation (not the kind that makes it in letters to Penthouse) that you cannot bear to to stand idle but yearn to always have her straddled in your arms ensuring to capture a perfect passionate moment with one lip twisting kiss? - Sounds like the poetic justice to a roadside equivalent of a Mills & Boons prelude. So how would you express yourself if you were in this tragically passionate moment. I say tragically passionate simply because as 'open-minded' as you want to be, since most people confine their emotions and desires to throughts and dreams and their only expression at many a time is through a simply lyrictized song. And since most of my blog is only about different emotions / different anecdotes relating to a release expressed in music / song here goes..... This time the song I came across is a beautiful attempt of Natasha Beddingfield to write a song expressing her love for someone. In an attempt is all she tries but the most appropriate would only be the obvious, simple yet perfect line ' I love you'. Take a read - better still go out and grab the song "These Words" from your neighbourhood music store - its worth the moolah!! These words are my own Threw some chords together, The combination D-E-FIs; who I am, is what I do; And I was gonna lay it down for you; Try to focus my attention; But I feel so A-D-DI need some help, some inspiration (But it's not coming easily)Whoah oh... Trying to find the magic; Trying to write a classic; Don't you know, don't you know, don't you know? ;Waste-bin full of paper; Clever rhymes, see you later; These words are my own; From my heart flow I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you There's no other way; To better say; I love you, I love you... Read some Byron, Shelly and Keats; Recited it over a Hip-Hop beat; I'm having trouble saying what I mean; With dead poets and drum machines; I know I had some studio time booked; But I couldn't find a killer hook; Now you've gone & raised the bar right up; Nothing I write is ever good enough; These words are my own; From my heart flow; I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you There's no other way; To better say; I love you, I love you...I'm getting off my stage The curtains pull away; No hyperbole to hide behind; My naked soul exposes; Whoah.. oh.. oh.. oh.. Whoah.. oh.. Trying to find the magic; Trying to write a classic; Waste-bin full of paper; Clever rhymes, see you later; These words are my own; From my heart flow; I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you That's all I got to say, Can't think of a better way, And that's all I've got to say, I love you, is that okay?

I hope you dance

A few months ago a fine friend of mine passed away in a horrid accident, leaving behind a shattered hearts of friends and family. Endearing as Sayo was, her exuberance for life and the thrill of enjoying herself will keep the memory of her everlasting. A month prior to this incident another school classmate 'Anup' passed away in a similar accident. Theo nly difference being that he was growing up to be the sole bread-winer of his loving, God-fearing Catholic family. Cherished as our prayers (I hope) are to the Almighty, sometime fate & destiny take away hope, fade dreams and cloud hearts. What hurts the most, is witnissing a painful loss of youth from the alms of life. Time, they say heals all, but more importantly it helps helps you edge past that traumatic experience and move onto more of what life has to offer.
Life teaches us many lessons and over time learning is called experience. The ecperiences that we gain have no reminders and it takes a hint from the past or memory jogging anecedote that reminds us of what we are and where we came from. Sometimes the lyrics from a song can stir up the mind and reminds us to think of the days of humility and wonder. Here is one such emotion stirring song sung by Lee Ann Womack called "I hope you dance". Ronan Keating tried singing this one but could not amount to the power and melody of Lee Ann.

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

Chorus:

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean

Whenever one door closes

I hope one more opens

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance

and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

I hope you dance (dance),

I hope you dance (dance)

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they're worth takin’

And lovin’ might be a mistake but it's worth makin’

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out, reconsider

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

I hope you dance

(time is a wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance

(where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance,

dance (dance), I hope you dance (dance),

I hope you dance (dance)

(time is wheel in constant motion always)

I hope you dance

(rolling us along)

I hope you dance

(dance)

(tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

I hope you dance

(dance)

(where those years have gone tell me)

(dance)

(who wants to look back on their years and wonder)

(where(dance) those years have gone)

Lost Cause

Ever thought that you could run by one of those amazingly horrible relationships and still come out unscathed? Well - really -, NO. In the cycle of life, one really has a million relationships to handle - now i'm no expert on what psychology has to say about it or even a more philosophical individual but here's my take on the uneventful psyche on relationships: the simpler ones are with the milkman, fish monger, news paper boy which has that simple give and take equation, a smile here and there ending in customer satifaction and entrepreneurial profit-making. The ones we are born with (has more relevance) are the one with a bit more life molding / changing effects - for example the one with the Mother, father, Brother, even Girlfriend, Wife, etc.....The twisted ones are the one that form milestones / anecdotes of emotional and mindblowing heartaches and breakdowns in our lives. I mean these are the ones that you'd look back and say what-the-hell-were-you-thinking?? These are the more non-descript type of ones - classic example the Ex-girlfriend. Now take sometime to ponder and think...the ex-girlfriend for whatever reason:
1. is always going to be the point-of-irate when brought in conversation with the current girlfriend
2. always calls once in a while to check on ur current success status
3. will be an at least initial comparison to the rest of the girlfriends for you to pick the BBD - the bigger better deal :)
4. Although will eventually fade away from screen presence and material memory (we all get old C'mon!!) the current girlfriend will bring her back to form legendary yet worthless at the same time - and since you have erased all memory (substantial at least) the twist begins to whip you in the ass.
Now the relevance of the above insinuations are based on this fantastic song by Beck to help rubbish those inadvertently useless twisted relationships that once formed a catastrophic kick-in-the-loins. If you'd ever think you'd find yourself riding with a lost cause take a listen to the lyrics of lost cause by Beck...........Thank me later :)

Your sorry eyes, they cut through bone.

They make it hard to leave you alone.

Leave you here, wearin your wounds

Waving your guns at somebody new.
Baby you're a lost, Baby you're a lost,

Baby you're a lost cause

Too many people you used to know

They see you coming they see you go.

They know your secrets and you know theirs

This town is crazy, but nobody cares.
Baby you're a lost, Baby you're a lost,

Baby you're a lost cause.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of fighting,

Fighting for a lost cause.

There's a place where you are going

You ain't never been before

There's no one laughing at your back now

No one standing at your door

Is that what you thought love was for?
Baby you're a lost, Baby you're a lost.

Baby you're a lost cause.

I'm tired of fighting, I'm tired of fighting,

Fighting for a lost cause.

Rebirth Of Slick

Do you remember the times, those days when all you wanted was a ciggi and some heavy base to set you on fire. Take a step back to a decade ago and all you find around you is the distortion of music in a proportion equal to the diversity of a the tuneless sounds yet one hit wonders of the '80s. Back in '93 the the trio lady bug, Butterfly and Doodle bug put out a laid back jazz tempo'd heavy bass old school no. called 'the Rebirth of slick'.
Lyrics below - ride on :)
butterfly searchin for a relax pullin from the jazz stacks cause it's sunday on the air is incense sounds to the ceiling tried to get this feelin since monday lookin out the window watchin all the people go buggin off a funny vibe cause now it seems they're equal wonder what would trane say wonder what my pop say buggin off the calmness in the apple who me i'm coolin in ny, i'm chillin in ny the hoods is on my block and the brothers at the court the baseball hats is on and the projects is calm dreamtime's extended - and highly recommended but early birds like me's up checkin out the scene the early worms jog, forget about your job just come dig the essence while the decadence is hidden when people act like people the theory ?? if you know the norm it's like hades transformed on sunday's early hours the city sprouts its flowers so get with the rhythms while you gettin with the planets vibe off the jams but don't take them for granted we venture through the streets in search of funky beats extensive is the travels and it's heavy on the sneaks ye it's kickin out the speakers of the sunday morning jeepers my man do planets do it lovely? am i my brother's keeper? we foot it to the park where the swoon units walk and sit with the phoenicians diggin on musicians hangin with the rebels sippin on a snapple buggin with my crew just trippin in the apple you be thinkin peace when you're vibin with your flock but you be thinkin damn everybody's got a glock if you got some beef please express that in silence or else - violence but right here is the life it's the children of the concrete livin off the fruits and the functions of the fat beats hiphop's all around the members is growin please dig on the sounds cause the good vibes they snowin wake up prayin that the game's on maybe it's the ? maybe it's the nicks maybe it's a rerun of an old tv show like hawaii 5-0 or karate flicks maybe if the phone rings butterfly will take wings speakin on some cool things frontin like i cope born under flat ground now i'm chillin shaky ground reachin for pacific heights sunday is my rope - dig it sunday's to relax some sunday morning drama is callin up my mama the hot line is in i guess the ? knew the deal vibin off the jams of the crews on sugar hill lay around and think ain't nothin to do checkin out some frommes, some satre, camus minguses are hummed, damn ? can drum the dp's are life there they go here they come it's time to grab some loot put on the timber boots checking out some dollies/dali's like tasha and kamali ny is a museum with its posters and graffiti if you're in the city on sunday come check me get with me